Phases

A. Designing Your Ceremony

1. Ceremony.

This is your wedding.  Your wedding does not contain what Jim or anyone else say must be there.  This is your celebration where you have invited the family members and special guests that are important to you.  The wedding is what you want it to be.  It does not have to be what someone else said "You must do this" or "you can't do that!". (See Principles for wedding ceremony.)

The invited guests are present to share your experience.  You do what you want; your guests share the ceremony, and are entertained by their participation.  Furthermore, to simply recreate a wedding ceremony your guests have seen many times is not memorable.  You place yourselves where everyone can see you, not with your backs turned to your guests.  A successful wedding ceremony is based on what you do, hear and say; anything else is non-essential.

A basic starting tasks is to create a simple ceremony outline.  This outline becomes the foundation for the draft script.  Below, the section titled Sequence options -- creating the script's outline discusses this element.

2. Feelings.

Emotions are natural and your wedding should bring out joyous, happy, strong feelings.  Intellectually and liturgically based ceremonies are emotionally minimal.  A month after the wedding ceremony, most will not remember much about your wedding.  Yet, years after your special celebration, people will tell you how they felt at your ceremony.  The number of smiles and tears are a benchmark for a successful celebration.

3. Bride And Groom.

Even though Jim may speak for most of the ceremony, you and your bridal party make a strong impression.  Your conduct is important.  Despite Jim's special presentation, your guests will focus on you.  Be natural, be yourselves, not a stiff, rigid, rehearsed robot.  Jim will put you at ease through extensive communication, rehearsing your celebration, clearing up questions and eliminating confusion.  Weddings are happy occasions, not drudgery and gloom.  Weddings are a time for celebrating, a time for festivity.

4.  "Screenplay".

Develop the "screenplay" for this special ceremony, also known as the "script."  You and your guests are the actors in the scenes.  Guests see you, you holding hands, you lighting candles, you toasting life and each other with wine, and, of course, your kiss.  Of course, you want the words spoken to be special, meaningful.  Other actions by you, your guests and musicians add significantly to the overall script for the celebration screenplay.

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B. Planning the Celebration

Jim meets with the bride and groom.  This meeting is an opportunity to get acquainted with you, and for you to become acquainted with your prospective wedding officiant.  You learn about the many effective options that Jim can bring to wedding ceremonies.  At this meeting you share with Jim how you envision your wedding.  Jim will comment on the ways of putting that together.  Note: the ultimate decision is yours.

This meeting may take place anywhere (in your home, at the wedding site, in a restaurant).  During this meeting and interview, the advice Jim gives you is bounded by traditional business relationships.

Jim does not comment on your religious or philosophical convictions, nor does Jim impose a rigid format for your ceremony.  Your ceremony is to be an expression of your two backgrounds, your cultures, your feelings about marriage through the words and events of your choosing.

In some weddings, one or more children may in this new family unit.  Jim can recognize the children where acceptance and commitment is critical to this new family group.

Marriage is a partnership.  It is not a merger in which two people lose their individual identities  It is a commitment, reinforced by love, of equals who discover that they are more fulfilled together than they are apart.  May your celebration reflect this.

Your ceremony will express your feelings about marriage through the words and events of your choosing.  Your planning session is where all of this starts.

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C. Rehearsal

More is put into a beautiful wedding ceremony than meets the eye.

In your rehearsal session you will step through the "screenplay" as many times as necessary to feel comfortable.  From this experience will come confidence, and from confidence will come poise. The rehearsal will help you eliminate stress, be calm, collected and confident.

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D. Ceremony

Your wedding celebration is the special event.  It will be impressive and engaging.

Jim's directorship during your celebration will allow you to be calm, up beat and at your best, since Jim is involved in making all aspects of your ceremony.  This is Jim's forte: assisting musicians, photographers and videographers understand their opportunities, and making your celebration unique and special.

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E. Sequence, or ceremony order -- the outline

The Ceremony Order is the sequential listing of events that take place during a wedding.

When you are considering the components for your ceremony, make a simple outline of the components you choose.
Remember it is your special day: the element sequence or order is your choice.

NOTE: the wedding ceremony script that is developed may be created by anyone.  Varying the spectrum, on one end Jim can completely prepare the ceremony and you hearing/experiencing it the first time on your wedding day.  At the other end of the spectrum, you may dictate to Jim each word to be said, each movement to be made.  And obviously somewhere in between, Jim welcomes an interplay with you to generate ideas and develop the script.  Jim is very flexible on your involvement how to create the ceremony for your special day.

If you make your wedding just like someone else's, is that reflecting this new partnership, this new union?  Consider creating the a celebration that is unique, that friends and family will remember for decades to come.

Below are several examples, not suggestions.

The first two examples that are shown are very common ceremonies.

If this format is acceptable to you, fine.  Yet, you may want to be express yourself by being more creative.  Further below are two examples of different, say, non typical celebrations, reflecting the cultures and bride and groom's tastes.

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Custom wedding sequences
reflecting the Bride and Groom's wishes

To emphasize again, the ceremony components are your choice.  Your ceremony may be, and should be, considerably different from someone else's, as suits your taste.  Have your ceremony reflect you and your unique tastes.

Below are two custom ceremonies, the components from different couples giving insight to variations in celebrations.

These examples are simply that, just examples.  The myriad of possible components and their combination is your choice.
Jim not only can legally officiate on behalf of the government, but also can assist develop a memorable celebration that meets your wishes.

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